I read my post from yesterday over and over again.
Not because it was fabulous writing, but I wanted to get it right. It would be awesome if the little guy remembered his first time skiing, but if not it is a story that I want to be able to tell him when he gets older, and I don’t want to leave anything out!
I’m not a descriptive storyteller. By that I mean, I use simple words to tell my stories. Sometimes its the same words over and over to describe things. I may write all the details, but I never was really good at being very descriptive (using adverbs and adjectives, right Fil?!).
I wanted to make the story come alive. It’s hard for me to do that. I guess that’s why I love blogging because I can add pictures to my stories. And you know what they say about pictures…it’s worth a thousand words, right?
I wish I could describe the feeling that I felt all day.
ALIVE.
That’s how I felt.
I was doing something that defines me.
Stephany.
And, I was doing it with the little guy.
As his mom.
I was a mom AND Stephany at the same time!
It was exhilarating!
A couple of other notes:
On Sunday night Ryan asked the little guy, “What was your favorite thing about going skiing with Mommy today?”
His answer was, “All of it.”
*******
Yesterday when I was writing the story the little guy asked what I was doing. I told him I was writing the story about our skiing adventure. Then I asked, “If you could write a story about our skiing adventure what would you say?”
Yesterday was one of those days that goes on my “one of the best days ever” list.
I took the little guy skiing for the first time.
Yep, he’s 3-1/2. I started skiing when I was 4, so he’s got me beat!
It went almost exactly as I had hoped it would.
We got up early and left the house before 7 am. We stopped at Plaid Pantry and picked up some donuts for a “special breakfast” and m&m’s for later in the day. We talked about how he is going to be a Batmobile driver when he grows up and a bunch of other exciting and important stuff. Eventually, he asked to play games on my phone and I thought it would be okay so I could focus on driving.
We got through Zig Zag and made it to 2500 feet and it started snowing. I mean, blowing sideways flakes flying! This was the only part of the day that did not go as I had expected. The roads were snowpacked, and I was happy to have silence while the little guy played games so I could focus on the road. Once we got on 35 to head to Mt. Hood Meadows the road was really slick and made me a bit nervous. The last time I drove through snow like that was on the way out to Portland when we moved here in 2006! We passed a group of 4 cars that had spun out on the road (later on, I heard that they actually closed the road because of that accident). I took it slow and we got to the parking lot just fine. We got our ski clothes on and made the trek to the lodge.
The little guy walked almost all the way. I did not have mittens for him so he was wearing a pair of my gloves, my hat, and my goggles to keep the blowing snow out of his eyes. I finally tried to pick him up for a little bit, but with my skis and the backpack that I was carrying I could not carry him for long. I told him where we needed to go and he agreed that he could walk the rest of the way. He was such a big boy!
We hit the bathroom and then headed to ski rental for the little guy. He was so interested in the lockers and wanted to know how they worked because they were not exactly like the ones at rollerskating. After a thorough discussion I was finally able to get him moving to the rental shop. It was so easy to get through the rental line. Everybody was so helpful. We were able to purchase our lift tickets there as well which made one less stop for us to make before hitting the slopes. {For those of you who do not know, you can purchase a $10 adult ticket for the Ballroom and Wonder carpets, which is the best place to start your little ones. Kids under 6 are $9 for a full mountain ticket!}
First, we got his boots. He put them on and wanted to try walking around in them. I told him that it might be a little hard to walk in them. He walked around a bit and said, “They feel great!” We also rented a helmet and he carried that while we went to get his skis. We grabbed those and headed over to the ski shop to get goggles and gloves. Now that we had all the gear we just needed to find out where to go. The sales associate pointed us in the right direction and we went back out into the snow.
We got out to the Fun Zone and it hit me…now I need to teach him how to ski! I hadn’t even thought about that part of the day! I know, make a pie with your skis, but what was I supposed to tell him about how to put his skis on? How to balance? How to get on the Ballroom Carpet? I winged it.
He did awesome!
Not once all day did this kid show fear. No trepidation. No holding back. He was amazing!
He got right on the Ballroom Carpet and was just happy and talking and listening. Got right off the carpet (with a little help from me), and turned to go down the “hill”. He ran over my skis, fell down and started laughing. He tried to get right back up on his own, but couldn’t figure out how to get his legs and skis to go the right direction. I helped him out, he pointed his skis downhill and away he went.
The little guy was skiing!
I was smiling. I was laughing. I was cheering him on!
My heart was filled with joy. I was so proud of the little guy. Tears came to my eyes.
I looked around at the beautiful scenery.
Here we were in a snowstorm skiing together.
He was happy. He was excited to do this!
We got to the bottom of the hill and decided to go up one more time.
After another run we stopped and had an m&m snack.
We headed over to the Wonder Carpet, which is a smaller version of the Ballroom Carpet. We took a run over there and stopped for another m&m snack. After sitting in the snow eating the m&m’s he had dropped in the snow his hands got very cold. The little guy started crying and wanted to go inside.
No surprise. Totally expected.
I wish I could have gotten us there faster. I had his skis, my skis, the backpack, and him. He walked…crying the entire way. I wish I could have carried him, but he was tough.
We got inside the lodge and his hands were tingling as they warmed up…you know how that can hurt, right?! He kept crying…until I told him he could have hot chocolate…and a hot dog. What a trooper!
We ordered two hot chocolates. One with whipped cream. One without.
The world was good again.
At this point I asked him if he wanted to come skiing again. He said, “Next time I want to go snowboarding!” I told him that Mommy only knows how to ski, so we would have to give skiing a try a couple more times and if he still wants to go snowboarding we will have to get him another teacher to teach him how to snowboard. He was OK with that.
After warming up with our hot chocolate and talking about the ski lodge and the snow outside we went to order our lunch. I have never seen the little guy eat an entire hot dog that big! He was HUNGRY! He also ate all of his apples and still worked on his hot chocolate.
I asked him if he wanted to go do anymore skiing and he told me that he just wanted to go home. Not in an “I’m unhappy and want to go home” kind of way, just that he was done skiing for the day and wanted to go home. That was good for me.
We returned all the gear, made a stop at the restroom, and headed back to the truck. I was worried that we would have trouble finding our car since I didn’t really pay attention to where we parked. I did notice the “Doggie Park” sign almost right in line with our row as we walked to the lodge earlier, so I used that as our marker for getting back to the car. And, we found it just fine. He walked the entire way back to the car!
The little guy played with the icicles on the car while I loaded up my gear and got out of my ski clothes. He threw snowballs at me, at the car, and in the air. I got him out of his ski clothes and into the car and we headed home.
The roads cleared up a bit. The sky cleared up a bit. The little guy took a little snooze (which was totally expected). It was a beautiful drive home.
I choked up when I thanked the little guy for going skiing with me. It was one of the best days ever.
This morning I spent 2-1/2 hours in the little guys preschool classroom. While we are not required to volunteer in the classroom, we are welcome to sign up to visit and help out. Today was my 1st day to help out in his classroom.
We played with cars, read books, made Shamrock headbands, had circle time, took a bathroom break, had snack, went to PE, and had a St. Patrick’s Day parade with the other class through the kindergarten classroom and the main office.
It was like a whirlwind.
Honestly, the quickest 2-1/2 hours that I can remember!
His teachers are amazing.
The kids are adorable.
They have great activities planned, keep the kids moving and engaged, and everybody was getting along and having fun!
The little guy wanted me right by his side the entire time, and I didn’t mind that. The other kids warmed right up to me and were so cute wanting to sit on my lap, have me read them books, and hold my hand in line. I was happy to finally learn some of the daily routine and songs that the little guy sings about the weather and the day of the week.
We also brought the snack for the day which meant the little guy got to wake everybody up from their “rest” and say the prayer before snacktime.
It was a big day.
The little guy hurt himself in PE. He literally ran in to a wall and hurt his chin. I think he would have been fine if I hadn’t been there, but he took full advantage of the fact that mommy was there. His lip quivered, there were tears, and he wanted to stop playing and making noise! He finally sucked it up for our noise parade (they learned about the letter “N” this week), and we all got our happy stamps at the end of PE…even me!
We left the noise parade in PE to play bingo with the letter people and then had a St. Patrick’s Day parade with the hats/headbands that we made at the beginning of class. Teacher Patty did get a photo of the class with their hats on, so hopefully I can add that to this post eventually.
It was a great morning spent with a glimpse into the little guys life when he is not with mommy.
Yesterday he told me that sometimes some of his friends cry and want their mommies when they are at school. I asked him if he every wanted his mommy. He said no. That actually made me happy. I am thrilled that he is so comfortable at his school with his teachers and friends.
After we had that conversation I asked, “Do you love your mommy?”
He replied, “YES!”
I had to have a little validation that he still needs me around…he’s only 3-1/2 for goodness sake!
I had hope to get photos of the morning, but it was so busy there was not even time for me to get my camera (or iPhone) out of my bag!
home is…a glimpse into the little guys life without mommy.
There was a downpour as baby girl and I were leaving to pick up the little guy at school today. A break when we walked into the school. Another downpour when the three of us walked back out to the car. Needless to say, we all needed dry clothes (at least pants) once we got home.
It’s calm here now, but I have kept my eye on the radar online.
Having grown up in Colorado where severe thunderstorms were the norm many afternoons during the spring and into the summer I know my way around a thunderstorm warning.
I hate thunderstorms.
I was so excited to move somewhere where it rains, but without thunder, lightning and tornadoes.
I was so afraid of thunderstorms that I would literally hide in a dark, windowless room until they were over…sometimes for hours. Usually snuggled up with a dog.
When I went on antidepressants in 2003 my fear started going away. My thunderstorm anxiety was not the reason for going on the magic pills, but I must say not having to hide in a dark room when the storms rolled in was a nice side effect. It must have been some of the anti-anxiety magic in those pills. It was awesome to not be afraid of the storms when they came. I could actually function.
In 2005 I stopped taking the antidepressants.
In 2006 we moved to Oregon.
We occasionally have a thunderstorm, but it’s usually no big deal.
Today, the radar is telling me it could be different. I’m not a meteorologist, but I do know how to read a radar. There’s a lot of red coming our way.
The little guy told me today that he hopes there is not any lightning or thunder. It’s hard to be brave for the kids when I really hope that there isn’t lightning or thunder, too.
I’ll let you know if we get any.
Stay tuned…
home is…wishing I had the anti-anxiety magic in those pills.
On March 5th, 2010 I went wine tasting to celebrate a girlfriends birthday. We went out to dinner, spent the night at The Allison Inn & Spa, had breakfast, a massage, and stopped for lunch on the way home. It was good to feel independent for 24 hours.
When I got home I found out that my baby girl had not eaten anything since I left the previous day at noon. She had a jar or two of solids, but no milk. She was 6 months old and wouldn’t take a bottle.
I felt like a terrible mom.
I felt like a terrible wife.
How could I have left to have fun when nobody was having fun at home?
What was I thinking?!
She never did drink from a bottle.
We tried for 6 months after that.
I bought every bottle I could.
We tried sippy cups.
Nothing.
When she turned a year old I asked the pediatrician how I should go about weaning her. I was ready to be done. I needed a break. He just told me to stop…cut one feeding a week. (Meaning, if I was feeding her 4x a day, cut down to 3x for the 1st week, 2x for the 2nd week, etc.)
I did.
It took a little over a month.
It was fine.
She still doesn’t drink milk.
On March 4th, 2011 I spent the first night away from my kids since that night. Almost one year to the day.
This time I did not worry about the bottle. Baby girl can eat. She eats all day.
I felt liberated.
Independent.
Free.
(But, I still wanted Ryan to send me pictures of the kids eating their dinner and sleeping in their beds)
But, some days it is tough. I did not imagine how tough it would be to be a mom.
Physically.
Mentally.
Emotionally.
I am so thankful for the opportunity I have to stay at home with our young children. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I am a dreamer.
I dream of what it will be like when the kids are in school, and I have hours to myself during the day. I dream of what I will do with my time. I dream of how much I will be able to do.
Personally.
Professionally.
Domestically.
It’s exciting, exhausting, and frustrating. I want to be able to do. it. all. now.
And, a rainy Monday here in the Pacific Northwest. Which means we are back to normal winter weather around here. After 5 winters here I think I am finally getting used to the rain. I love to look out my window to our backyard and watch the rain falling through the huge Douglas Firs. I really, really love living in the Pacific Northwest. It is where I am meant to be…for now.
That being said, today feels like a Monday. I am trying to be positive and embrace my new feelings for Monday, but today is tough. I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Today I feel like a Southwest Airlines commercial…I want to get away.
I hoped to get to a morning workout today, but that didn’t happen. I switched up my exercise routine a bit and today was supposed to be a “run” day, but baby girl is drooly, snotty, coughing and can’t go to childcare. So, I decided to go to Stroller Strides…then I looked out at the weather and did not feel like loading the kids into the stroller in a downpour (this was after I got us all dressed and ready to go). So, I had to figure out what we could do at home.
I decided I would try to get the artwork hung in baby girls room. I got up there and decided that the furniture needed to be moved around for the artwork to work (remember I move furniture when I get frustrated). Then I got even more frustrated that I was moving the furniture and not hanging the artwork. Then I got frustrated that the kids were in the way and the room was a mess with toys, artwork and furniture everywhere. Not good.
Here is where we stand…
No artwork was hung
The furniture was moved back to where it was when I started this morning
I am frustrated with myself for getting so frustrated
Kids are sad
Poppa is confused (he was working from his home office this morning)
The fact of the matter is I should have just put the kids in the car and gone to Stroller Strides. I always feel better when I exercise in the morning. I am able to get through my day without my frustration level getting too high. We weren’t going to melt in the little bit of rain that we would have encountered on our way from the car to the class. I should know that by now.
Hindsight is 20/20.
Now, I haven’t exercised, I didn’t hang artwork, the kids aren’t happy, the husband isn’t happy, and I am beating myself up for all of it.
I should have remembered to get moving…it’s Monday!
stephany taddeo 