Category: being a wife

not knowing where to turn

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Last week I attended my first Titus coffee at the church where the little guy attends preschool. As I wrote in this post, I was not brought up going to church. We went on occasion, but I think I was brought up to be more spiritual than believing in God.

I still don’t know where I stand. What I do believe is that there is something bigger than us out there…be it God, karma, the universe, whatever.

Back to the Titus coffee…

The subject was a controversial parenting subject which I won’t discuss in detail. There were proverbs quoted, talk about prayer and giving grace, and a lot of things that I did not understand. I had a hard time believing that the subject that we were talking about is actually what God wants us to do, but I was convinced that it might be an effective parenting technique.

All of that being said, I am thinking about turning to God right now. My marriage is being tested and strained, my parenting skills are tested on a daily basis (I am sure the kids are acting out because they feel the stress of mommy and poppa not enjoying eachothers company), there have been things that have happened to me and my loved ones that defy any worldly explanation, and I am trying to find balance in my life and struggle with it everyday (who doesn’t, right?).

I can “talk” to all of you about it here on this forum, but ask me to talk with somebody about it in person and I clam up (unless I am talking with my beloved “quack” of a marriage/personal counselor, Dr. Brown). I am afraid of being judged.

Will it help my marriage?

Will it help my parenting?

Will it help me find answers?

Will it help me find balance?

I don’t know.

What I do know is that doing what I am currently doing, Dr. Phil would probably ask me, “Now how’s that workin’ for ya’?”.

Is it possible to believe in God, but not believe in all the things the Bible teaches?

I read a lot of blogs written by Christian moms. I have a lot of friends who attend church regularly.

It’s worth a try, right?

Who knows…baby steps.  Maybe another Titus coffee before I jump in.

home is…sometimes not knowing where to turn.

funtime carnival

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I love the little guys school.

Remember this post from a year ago?

I couldn’t be happier with our choice.

And, most importantly, he loves it too!

On Friday night there was a carnival at his school for all the families to attend.

Games, prizes, balloons…the kids had a blast!

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home is…a family date night!

did i mention?

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That we had to sell my Highlander Hybird?

Yes, this one.

(BTW, I am so sad because I never had my photo taken with my Hybrid like I did with my 1st car.  I guess I thought I would drive my Hybrid FOREVER!)

Ryan started a new job in October.  With this new job came a company car. Yes, it is awesome to have a car that is paid for by the company, but I LOVED my Hybrid. Ryan was driving a GMC Yukon and that is now my car…we need the room when we go on road trips with the kids and dogs and when family comes to visit us.  So, I had to say goodbye to an awesome car.  It wasn’t the first time I sold a car I love…um, I won’t mention what I did with my 1993 Jeep Wrangler…that was a bad decision.

Anyway, the good news is that I sold it to a friend I met through Stroller Strides…and it was her birthday present.  What goes around comes around.

home is…having a love of cars thanks to my dad!

Everchanging Emotions and the Terrible Two

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When I was pregnant with the little guy I kept myself up to date on the stages of my pregnancy by receiving a weekly e-mail and reading the books that tell you exactly how the baby is growing, how you should be feeling, and what is next.  This time around, I have glanced at those books to double check things that I think are OK, or to check on things that I don’t remember experiencing the last time.  In addition to occasionally reading about the pregnancy, I have been reading A LOT about toddlers.  I think I have read about 4-5 different books in the last week!

This period that we are going through with the little guy is a an amazing and frustrating  period called toddlerhood.  And, it has me boggled most of the time.  For instance, this morning, the little guy and I started out just perfect.  He was happy when I went into his room this morning, we waved goodbye to Poppa as he left for work, we shared some scrambled eggs and ham together, he didn’t thrash around as I changed his diaper and got him dressed, we played with stickers, read books, and even colored in a coloring book (which is not something he used to be fond of). 

The morning was going so smoothly, I decided that we should venture out to the craft store to get some things to finish up some projects for the kids rooms.  I armed myself with jelly beans in my pocket should I need to bribe the little guy to sit in the cart, and we were off!  Yes, I had to give up a couple of jelly beans, but the outing was also a success.

Lunchtime came earlier than usual, but that was no big deal.  He ate a good lunch, and cooperated for the most part when I reminded him that sitting at his little table was a priviledge and he needed to stay in his seat.  He played nicely while I cleaned up the dishes and then all h-e-double-hockey-sticks broke loose!

He came running to me to tell me he had poop in his diaper and his head started spinning around, his arms started flailing, and his legs started kicking!  For the next hour, I fought with him (mind you, I am not as able bodied as I might be when I am not 1-month away from giving birth) to get his diaper changed.  He kicked, screamed, weasled, hit, ran away with the diaper, ran away with the wipes, knocked over furniture…I was in tears.  He would come to me like he was sorry and wanted to give me a hug and then he would hit me and turn away running and laughing!!!  I called Ryan, but what was he going to do 3 hours away in Seattle?!  All he could say was he was sorry and I was not happy with that answer.  Eventually, I was able to get his diaper changed, and he is now in his room for naptime/quiet-time.

A couple of the books I have read compare being a toddler to having PMS or being pregnant…all of which only a mother can understand.  So, here I am frustrated with a toddler who I cannot understand because he has no control over his everchanging emotions while I have no control over my own everchanging emotions.  While I sit here and feel sorry for myself, I should really be feeling sorry for my husband, who lives in a household with both of us!  Now wonder he “has” to be in Seattle every week for work…I would want to get out of the house, too!  Forget the “terrible-two’s”, he has to deal with the “Terrible Two”!