one foot in front of the other

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I was feeling a little out of sorts this morning.

I’ve been itching to start my exercise routine up once again.

I want to be able to run 4-6 miles three times a week.

My plan was to get started this week, but I was frustrated with rain (I don’t run in the rain) and sick kids (which means no gym childcare).

Then the sun came out this morning.

I hit the pavement with Lorelai and the BOB.

Fresh air.

Blue sky.

Quiet.

I needed it.

I walked for over an hour.

I took occasional photos of the beautiful fall colors.

I let my mind go blank and just focused on what was in front of me.

It’s been months since I have exercised regularly.

Oh, who am I kidding?

It’s been months since I have exercised. Period.

I’m feeling it.

In my mood.

In my body.

I’m not going to go into why I stopped, but I know I want to get started again.

It felt good to put one foot in front of the other.

I am hoping we get another dry day tomorrow so I can do it again.

It felt fabulous.

So, I’m going to have to find a way to fit it all in.

All the things that make me feel good.

Exercise.

Thrifting.

Creating.

They make me a better person.

A better wife.

A better mom.

A better friend.

A better ME.

home is…hitting the pavement.

my adventures with poultry…and other fall fun

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Fall welcomed us back to the Pacific Northwest this past weekend.

The first rain in 81 days came the morning after we got home and the weekend stayed grey and cool.

Perfect weather to head out for some fall adventures. I’ll warn you now, there are quite a few photos…all taken with my iPhone (I was tired of lugging my dslr around after Maui).

We ventured out to the Oregon Heritage Farm for the Applefest.

Applefest raises money for a local high school ski team and has gotten bigger each year we have attended.

Hayrides, pumpkins, hay mazes…

and, apple chucking!

We were leaving as the band started playing. The singer sounded just like Johnny Cash.

We got in the car to head home and decided to make another stop on the way.

Baggensto’s Farm…they grow christmas trees, pumpkins, and potatoes! If you want awesome french fries, go here!!

We came home and Ryan decided to light a fire out back…

and, I baked an apple pie.

Ryan also took most of the plants out of our front garden on Saturday, but our dahlias are still blooming.

As if those adventures weren’t enough, Reece and I went to another local pumpkin patch with his kindergarten class this morning.

Goatel 6. We’ll keep the light on for ewe. Get it?!

I want this sign for our house.

Speaking of chickens, I’ve had quite a run in with poultry the last two days.

First, this guy walked right up to my iPhone like he wanted to pose for these photos.

He must have liked the last time I took his photo.

This morning, on the field trip, we got to see the new turkeys.

I knelt down to take a photo…

and she lunged at me!

I threw my phone because her “nibble” on my finger startled me.

It was actually quite funny.

So, the rain has me wearing my Hunters. This month I am specifically wearing my pink for Breast Cancer awareness. My mom found a lump 9 years ago this month. She is a a survivor. I am so happy she is a fighter and had the resources and care to beat this disease!

home is…feeling a bit like fall.

home sweet home

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We said goodbye to this yesterday…

And, after a brief delay at the airport…

We got on this and flew across the Pacific.

Lorelai and I had a nice snuggle on the plane yesterday.

The boys also snuggled for a bit…

Then we had a little fun with photo booth on my laptop…

Then I realized that the flash was going off and the other passengers might not be too happy, so we stopped. Oops!

The boys woke up from their snooze, and we all settled in for the remainder of the flight.

The kids did awesome. They are both sick and were troopers during the long flight home.

We’re all happy to be home after such a wonderful family vacation.

Now it’s back to reality…

I will be listing these in the colton+cadence etsy shop today.

Isn’t it the best feeling in the world to be home?

home is…home sweet home.

aloha

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Last Friday we got on an airplane and flew to the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

We’re on Maui…one of my happiest places on earth.

Today is our last day here on the island.

It’s been a wonderful time despite many meltdowns at breakfast, lunch and dinner; a crazy sleep schedule; kiddos that don’t want to walk anywhere; and sniffles and coughs.

Lorelai has become a fish in the water.

Reece is making fast friends with kids of all ages at the pool.

They have both perfected the words ‘Aloha’ and ‘Mahalo’.

It is an awesome experience to share such a special place with my kiddos (and Ryan).

We ate breakfast at The Gazebo, lunch at Kimo’s, and dinner at Hula Grill.

We ate quickly melting ice cream under the Banyan tree, and looked for crabs on the rocks along Front Street.

We’ve also created new family experiences…staying on Kaanapali Beach at a hotel with a fabulous pool (and the only full service Starbucks on Kaanapali right below our ocean front room).

There are awesome kids activities…feeding the fish around the resort grounds, outdoor movies, treasure hunts, and shave ice.

We have relaxed by the pool everyday…going on “tours” of the big pool, waterfalls, and slides…swimming like mermaids and searching for pirate treasure at the Pirate Ship.

Last night we took the kids for a night swim and had the entire pool to ourselves.

Very different from all the other times I have been to Maui, but an amazing experience to share with my kids.

I can’t wait to come again and share even more with them…snorkeling, paddle boarding, boogie boarding, the North Shore, Haleakala, rainforests, waterfalls, Hana, Kapalua, Napili, Lanai, Molokini, Makena, and Little Beach.

Reece wanted to save a trip on the Sugar Cane Train for the next time we come.

I guess we have a reason to come back…

home is…island magic.

the southern hemisphere’s on sale

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I have an abundance of southern hemisphere’s, so I’m putting them on sale.

Normally, in the shop, my globe pendant lights are $35 plus $15 shipping.

These guys are going to be $25 plus $15 shipping…

There are five of them available.

Each one has a different color pom-pom trim.

The beige globes have black cords.

The blue globes have white cords.

If you see one you want leave me a comment and I will hold it for you.

Otherwise, they will be listed in the shop next Friday!

home is…the southern hemisphere on sale!

dr. suess inspired vintage school map

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I recently found a vintage school map of Asia.

I love the look of the map, but have no particular attachment to Asia, so I thought I would get crafty.

I found this font online and downloaded it to my computer.

I typed out the phrase I wanted to use and enlarged it to 650, so there was one letter for each page.

I chose some pretty paper from a new scrapbooking pad I got at Michaels and printed the letters.

What do you think?

home is…inspirational words.

grateful

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for some one to share my coffee with

for a boy who says, “Mommy, I love kindergarten”

for the love they share

for today

for awesome vintage finds

for remembering how to ride a bike

for going on rides around the block with #47

for a couple of hours to myself

for happy fabric

for this man

for the first morning of fall

for the view outside my windows

for soccer on saturday

for girl time

for a dog named Ben

for patience

for sunlight

for a three year old’s imagination

for another day of outdoor play

for bath and bedtime

home is…remembering to be grateful.

vulnerable

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Don’t let the craftiness and thrifting goodness fool you.

I’m feeling completely vulnerable right now.

I’m just good at keeping appearances up.

I’ve been sick for three weeks. It started with a cold that turned into a sinus infection that is now a deep cough that I just can’t shake.I’ve been sick more than I can remember.Actually, the last time I remember getting sick this frequently was when I was a pre-teen. I had appendicitis, tonsillitis, and mono within just a couple years of each other. In the last year, I’ve had walking pneumonia, shingles, and this darn sinus infection.

I’m exhausted.

And, I’m vulnerable.

I feel like I am being attacked by my kids. Daily.

One won’t go to bed. Or, stay in bed. Or, obey.

One won’t go pee on the potty, Or, wear the clothes I pick for her. Or, let anybody but Mommy do anything.

I love my kids more than anything in the world, but being their mommy right now is very hard.

I get angry and resentful. I snap or use a not so nice tone of voice.

And, then I end up saying, “I’m sorry.”

I wish I didn’t have to say, “I’m sorry.”

I wish I just wouldn’t snap.

I wish I just wouldn’t us a not so nice tone of voice.

I feel like I am failing at my job.

So, I craft.

I thrift.

I do projects around the house.

Because I’m good at it. And, doing something I am good at makes me feel less vulnerable.

I get a rush of adrenaline when I am doing it.

It feeds my soul.

But, the laundry doesn’t get done.

And, the dishes are in the sink.

And, phone calls for doctors appointments don’t get made.

And, there’s nothing ready for dinner.

And, I haven’t worked out in months.

And, then there’s my husband, who I also love more than anything in the world. He is so good to me and the kids and works his butt off to provide for us. He is an amazing father and husband.

He travels for work almost every week which leaves me as a single parent on the average of 2-4 nights a week. The kids and I have our routine down and it has gotten a lot easier as they have gotten older.

However, I’m so exhausted from battling my kids, trying to be a good mom, and trying to feed my own soul, that I have NO energy left for my husband when he is home.

I get angry and resentful. I don’t feel like being intimate. I snap or use a not so nice tone of voice.

And, then I end up saying, “I’m sorry.”

I wish I didn’t have to say, “I’m sorry.”

I wish I just wouldn’t snap.

I wish I just had the desire and energy to be intimate..

I wish I just wouldn’t us a not so nice tone of voice.

I feel like I am being judged for not being a good enough wife. Partner. Mother.

And, I feel like I am failing at my job.

My job right now is to be a mother and a wife.

And, I feel like I am failing at both.

So, I craft.

And, I go thrifting.

Because it is what I am good at.

It’s what I get positive feedback for.

People say…

  • You find the greatest stuff.
  • You are so creative.
  • You are amazing.
  • How do you have time for all of this?

The fact of the matter is…I’m not sure I do.

If I spend my time doing what makes me feel good it seems that I fail at my job.

SEEMS.

I told you. I am feeling vulnerable.

Maybe I’m not failing.

Maybe it just SEEMS that way.

FEELS that way.

No matter what. It hurts.

It’s hard.

I want to be the best I can be at my job.

I really just want to be a good mom and wife.

About being a mother, I want to hear…YOU ARE AMAZING.

About being a wife, I want to hear…YOU ARE AMAZING.

{And, back to that dream I had the other night…}

It wasn’t about the bloggers at all.

It was about my family.

When I read other blogs written by other moms and wives…I know I am not alone.

I also know my feelings of vulnerability will be acknowledged by other moms and wives who read my blog.

I just feel like I am failing with my family.

Is it really possible to be a good mom and wife and still do the other things I am good at?

The things that feed my soul.

Do I really have time to do it all?

home is…don’t let appearances fool you.