my heart is breaking

Yesterday morning I got that dreaded phone call.

You know the one.

The phone rings early in the morning and the caller ID shows it is family member from across the country calling.

The one where you know something bad has happened.

Yep, that one.

My sisters husbands brother took his own life the night before.

I was in tears immediately. I just wanted to be transported to Colorado to be there for my sister and her husband.

I am so thankful that my loved ones are okay, but my heart is breaking for them.

I want to do something. Fix something. Make it all better.

All I can say right now is tell those that you love that you do.

Give more kisses and hugs than usual.

Be thankful for what and who you have in your life.

Who knows when it could change.

I love you and am so thankful you are in my life Betsy, Rob and Sasha.

home is…wishing i could be “home”.

16 thoughts on “my heart is breaking

  1. brandeewine says:

    I am so sorry. As someone that lost a family member to suicide, I understand what your family is going through. It took a very long time for me to find sympathy for the person that died. Instead, I was focused so much on the survivors (and myself) that I didn’t allow myself to acknowledge anything other than the selfishness of the act and the devastation left behind.

    I am truly sorry for your family. Your love and support will mean everything to them in the days going forward.

    And my thoughts are with you, this morning, too.


  2. Tracy Small says:

    We are so sorry Steph. What a horrible loss for all of you. I hope Rob is surrounded by a lot of support back home.

  3. Melissa says:

    So sorry for your family’s loss Steph.
    Hug your kiddos and do what you can to comfort those in your family.

    Sending love and hugs–

  4. kathy says:

    Your family and Betsy’s are in our prayers, Steph… you’re doing your best to be there for them… that’s all anyone can ask.

  5. Fil says:

    Betsy, Rob and his dad in Colorado are in our thoughts. This kind of thing is almost always a jolt and incomprehensible. Our prayers for getting through this.

  6. Kam says:

    I am very sorry to hear of this loss. I am sorry you can’t physically be there for Betsy right now, but she knows you are just a phone call away if she needs anything. Thinking of you and your family and your sister and her husband and their families as well!! xoxoxoxo

  7. Dad says:

    We are holding up well here. Your words mean so much Stephany, thank you. We had Sasha come stay with us in the mountains last night and she was beautiful. We tried to keep everything as normal and positive as possible. This morning while she was mixing the pancake batter with Meme she said “Uncle Jef died last night. I am so sorry!” no crying, very caring and genuine. Not something you would expect from a 3 year old. It was beautiful. Betsy and Rob are blessed with Sasha! Life will get better. Thank you again for wishing you could help … you did. Love you, Dad

  8. Nancy Larson says:

    When one of my closest friends lost her daughter, one of my other closest friends brought us dinner. Sometimes those doing the supporting need as much support as those hurting the most. This is why it is especially hard for you Steph. We wish you were here too, and we love you all. Nancy

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