the big fish

So, there’s probably more interesting things to write about, but I’m going to tell you about the dream I had last night.

I was at McDonalds going through the drive through to get a Coke when I spotted two of my favorite bloggers sitting inside with their kids.

All of the sudden, I was inside introducing myself to them.

They invited me back to one of their houses where their kids were playing together happily, their husbands were drinking beer, and the bloggers were chatting, laughing, and drinking wine together.

I wanted to fit in so badly.

They told me to call my husband and kids and tell them to come over.

I kept calling.

I texted.

There was no reply.

I sat in the corner, observing.

Feeling so out of my element and wanting so badly to be a part of their fun, but my family wouldn’t join me and I didn’t fit in.

I don’t remember how it ended.

I don’t remember if it just stopped, if I left, if my family ever showed up, or if I sucked it up and joined the party without my family.

All I know is that I woke up this morning with the vivid memory of this dream.

It could be easy to read into.

I’m a very small fish in this big sea of blogging.

Maybe, as much as I just want to keep my little old blog small and just here for my family, friends, and the few of you that chose to read for whatever reason you do, I still feel like I want it to be more.

Maybe, I want to swim with the big fish.

Maybe, it meant nothing.

Maybe, it meant I read too many blogs.

Who knows…it was just a dream.

home is…nothing wrong with dreaming.

3 thoughts on “the big fish

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