This morning we were supposed to board a plane and head to Colorado to visit my family.

Ryan suggested the idea and I came up with the plan.

He has a meeting in California over the weekend, so we figured that the kids and I could go to Denver and visit family.

We would go for a long weekend and attend the National Western Stock Show & Rodeo just like my sister and I used to when we were little.

We would visit with family and friends we haven’t seen in months.

I even printed out all the addresses for the Goodwill’s and other thrift stores in Denver.

It was all planned.

We were checked in for our flight.

And, it just didn’t feel right.

As much as I wanted to go all the signs were telling me that it just wasn’t right.

Lorelai has been sick, the weather was calling for freezing rain right when we were supposed to head to the airport, my body was losing the battle against the unending barrage of germs that it has been fighting off since the holidays, and I was not looking forward to flying through Seattle to get to Denver by myself with the two kiddos.

Yesterday afternoon I called my mom and let her know that we were planning to come, but would keep an eye on the weather…there might be flight delays.

Within minutes of getting off the phone Lorelai threw up in the kitchen. I’m pretty sure it was caused by a coughing fit, but that was the last sign I needed.

I cried, I thought, and I finally decided that we couldn’t go.

Ryan got on the phone with the airlines and canceled our tickets.

I called my mom and let her know we wouldn’t be coming.

The last two times I have visited Colorado I have been sick.

March 2010, we visited for Spring Break. While we had a wonderful time when we were there, I was fighting a cold the entire visit and ended up with walking pneumonia when we got back.

Thanksgiving 2011, I had Laryngitis the entire time. And, Lorelai was sick both times.

I decided to say no.

No to myself.

No to the plans I had made.

No to traveling alone with the kids while we are not feeling well.

I was afraid of disappointing everybody…my parents, my sister and brother-in-law, aunts and uncles, cousins, my niece, and Reece & Lorelai.

But, I had to say no.

home is…taking care of my family.