less loud

my fuse was short last night.

super short.

i ignited like a bomb.


sending kids to rooms.

answering the phone when ryan called to check in {when i should have just let it go to voicemail} and choosing to be rude and vent.

silence over everything.

then, it turned into a rescue effort.




today is a new day, but i still feel guilty for turning into a “mean mommy”.

friday: field day at the elementary school (with baby girl, too), a trip to the pool afterwards, and a return to a home full of repairmen.

saturday: early baseball game, trip to grocery store to get food to prepare for the afternoon end of season party.

sunday: the first day of a 5 day stint of single parenting

monday: first grade field trip…a walk to a local park (with baby girl, too)

not a lot of quiet for this introvert.

being an introvert is not an excuse for a short fuse because, truthfully, i am the only person responsible for my behavior, and i need to make the choice to not raise my voice and be rude.

however, being a parent who really wants to be involved in their children’s activities and being an introvert is really tough sometimes. {check out this post that sums it up pretty well}

today, i get a break.

no school volunteering today.

no baseball or lacrosse.

baby girl is home with me, so it won’t be quiet, but it will be quieter.

less loud.

one and a half days of school left for the little guy and then we are on full-fledged summer break.

both kids will be home with me all day…all summer long.

other than some travel…central oregon, new york, idaho, the oregon coast…we don’t have plans {although we are working on our summer list}.

it won’t be quiet, but it will be quieter.

less loud.

i am really looking forward to less loud.

home is…quieter. less loud.

reset mode

this month i am putting myself into reset mode.

my post last week about a peek inside my introvert heart got me to thinking.

and reading.

and resting.

and reseting.

here’s the thing, i’ve known for at least a year, when i first started reading quiet (on my father in laws recommendation) that i am an introvert, but until recently i didn’t understand how that affected me…especially while being a mom.

people who know me, even my own parents, might think, “an introvert? no way!”

i’m not socially awkward, which most people think of when they think of an introvert.

the truth of the matter is that introverts can be just fine in social situations, have many friends,  like entertaining, and even like public speaking!

however, like i said in last weeks post, i have learned that when i get too much of a good thing and i am wiped out.

what i have realized through reading about introverts the last week is that being a parent and being an introvert can be very draining. it makes sense to me now.

as much as i love being a stay at home mom, being “on” from the moment i wake up until the moment the kids finally go to sleep is exhausting.

it’s exhausting for anybody, really, but for somebody who needs quiet and alone time to recharge it is really difficult.

i want to do everything…

go on a date with my husband.

volunteer in the kids classes.

go for runs with the dogs.

meet friends for coffee.

take a yoga class.

entertain on the weekend.

write a blog post {or two or three}.

got to all the kids activities.

read a book.

meet friends for dinner or drinks.

create something pretty.

have play dates with the kids friends.

and, sometimes i make it all happen, but when i do i take a big hit.

not only do i take a big hit, but my husband and kids take a big hit. i get cranky, i get sick, and i need more time than i should to reset.

i am taking this month to really go into reset mode.

i am going to do things that are good for me and, in turn, good for my family.

i’m also going to write more about this because it feels good to get it out there.

home is…30 days to reset.

a peek inside my introvert heart

yesterday, i crashed.

actually, it was a spiral downhill starting on tuesday.

Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 9.20.56 AM

i love entertaining.

i love my family and my friends.

but when i get too much of a good thing it leaves me exhausted.

my sister-in-law and i talked about it on monday evening.

we talked about how i am an introvert, and as much as i love to entertain and be around MY people, i crave time alone.

and, when i have too much time being “on”, i crash.

Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 8.52.32 AM

i crave silence.

any bit of noise yesterday and tuesday shot right to my raw nerves.

my throat got sore, my body ached, but most of all, my mind needed quiet.

i slept all day yesterday.

the sleep was needed…the quiet was needed even more.

Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 8.49.56 AMtoday, the noise isn’t so loud.

today, the to do list isn’t so daunting.

today, i will continue to recognize my need to recharge.

a year and a half ago, i began to read the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking after my father-in-law recommended it to me.

i picked it up off my nightstand last night and am determined to finish it.

are you an introvert or an extrovert?

home is…life as an introvert.