My sister lost her job yesterday.
She will be employed through the end of the week, but after that she will be searching for a job…again. She has been through a tough go of it the last couple of years. In and out of jobs for one reason or another. She is the breadwinner for her family. I can’t imagine what she is going through. And, unfortunately, we don’t talk often enough for me to know. I actually found out about her job loss on Facebook before I checked my email and read a short email that she sent.
I’m feeling pretty helpless about the whole situation. Not only am I 1200 miles away, but I feel millions of miles away because we just don’t communicate anymore.
home is…wishing there was something I could do, but having no idea what it would be.
stephany taddeo 
Steph – My advice would be to let her know that you want to be there for her. Even if you have lost communication, I am sure she would love to know what you said above (maybe she reads this anyway). I know how distance between sisters goes…for a while I could not even stand to be in the same room as my sister, but then we had a weekend full of wine and frank conversation (through many tears and shouts) and ever since then we have been building an honest wonderful sister relationship. I know physical distance is hard too because that does not really give you a chance to “chat”. My suggestion would be to shoot her a call or email (whichever feels more comfortable) and let her know that you are there if she wants to laugh, cry or just talk about anything – not even the job thing. And then you will feel at least like you have shown her that you want to be there for her. That is a tough situation, but if you reach out and show your support she will know you are there.
Just my two cents because I know how that feels to have a distant sister relationship.
Thanks, Steph.
I sent an e-mail back to her and let her know she could call me when she was ready to talk.
Just wish there was something I could have done in the last year or so when we haven’t communicated more than a handful of times.
Will be happy to see you back on the mainland soon…although I bet you would rather stay in the islands!
when I’ve had a tough time, I appreciate most the kind words from family and friends… not sure if everyone feels that way, but thought I’d mention it for what it’s worth! Lots of things are easier when you love close by, as you know, but reaching out is, in my mind anyway, always the right thing to do.
I remember being told as a new mom that the right answer was nearly always “hug the baby”… I believe it applies to grown-ups too… only the hugs take different forms…
Thanks, Kathy.
I did reach out…let her know that I would be here when and if she is ready to talk.
I know you have been reaching out right along, Steph… it’s all you can do…I love, by the way, the picture of the two of you with Pop-pop… I wonder if you can stage a similar one with Sasha and Lorelai when you visit? And the last photo… you and B already look like your grown-up selves!
I do think that you have “reached out”. Ultimately, as we all know we can only control our actions not how others respond or choose not to. For my younger sister and I, I think the distance was helpful. It has been a long road (in excess of 10 years for sure) for Megan and I, but I am so happy that it is on a nice road of improvement (and has been for the last few years). Megan and I both had to be active participants in improving our relationship, and when we were both ready, healing the relationship began, but not a second before.
I agree with all of the above! Sisters go thru stuff and that means not just blood sisters but sisters by choice too! And we all go thru things and have “waves” of friendship. My sister and I had a real falling out a couple of years ago (over something that I still think was completely ridiculous) but I just had to wait for her to be ready to talk about the situation honestly and be able to then start trying to rebuild our friendship and move forward. As long as Bes knows you are there if she needs you, that is all you can do!! She’s not gonna hold the fact that you haven’t been communicating against you… especially if it’s been a two way street 😉
Loves to you and your sister!! And luck to her in finding a job quickly!